Thursday, October 21, 2004

Heyz...... Today's a really really bad day for me... I sucked big time at band.. I should be labelled the lousiest and suckiest drummer, section leader and band member... I am soooooo useless.. The WHOLE band can't play nice songs for our upcoming performances because of ME.. ME, ME AND ME!! It's coz I can't play the drum set pieces. I was burning with shame just now during band as the whole band was sounding "great" except for the bloody drum set... Gawd, plz help me... ok ok, let's get straight to the point, I suck in band. I should be sacked as the section leader and thrown out of the CCA. Maybe I should have joined drama. It wouldn't have stressed me out this much. And I can also pursue my dreams of becoming an actress.. hehez.(my first laugh!) I guess I am suffering of Great Depression here... omg.. hope it doesn't last long.. okok.. ummm... yeah, I shall share with u guys how SCREWED I am... Band's got a performance this tuesday!! It's for our school's open house.. PERFECT.. Students who hear me play will run straight out of the school and never come back.. I guess the parents would juz stick to the simpler move, FAINT... Alrite, after this gonna-be disastrous performance, there's my principal's farewell on the last day of school in front of the whole entire school.. MUCH MORE PERFECT AIN'T IT?!?! I can embarass myself in front of everyone and I'll walk around with a huge L on my forehead... After that, which I hope I'd be out of band by then, is Coral Musical.. I shall be the star of the show again if I were to play. The IDIOTIC DRUMMER WHO CAN'T PLAY BUT STILL PLAYS... Oh gawd, I have no idea what to do rite now.. I soooo Hate Me... I just burst out into tears a few hours after breaking fast. That is sooo not me. I NEVER cry. I only get glum once in a while... This is really stressing me up... I guess I'm gonna have to practice until I go crazy. Deep in my heart, I am praying hard that I break my hand or sth so I won't be able to play... hehez..(wicked) But that'll be too cruel. Band will die.. SEE?! I think I care too much! I hate me.... I hate me... O wadever..
Ok, to look on the brighter side of the day, a tiny weeny little light shone on this depressing day of mine. I was selected to participate in a business competition along with Halif, Stephanie and other guyz from 2e1. I think it's kinda cool coz there's gonna be a lot of team work.. I love team work... Hate it when everything's up to me, myself and I... It's too demanding for me... Guess i m not independant.... But i'd love to be independant... I wanna be independant.. O wadever... this post is juz full of crap. ok back to the competition. The first prize is a trip to Bei Jing. wooow! hahakz.. basically what we've gotado is to make a product out of materials that we get on the day of the competition on 9th November. We've got to sell it and earn profits whatsoever.. quite tough but i am pleased to be selected for it.. we're gonna have two days of training for it... I'm gonna do my best for this.. and for band too.. though I've lost loads of hope today. I thought I could make it but now, I don't see the path anymore... Soooo, the best I can do is practice.
"There is still hope." -----> Arwen (Liv Tyler) said this when her father had told her that Aragorn will not be coming back after the war.... And what she said was true...
There is still hope.... I hope it works out for me too..
Getting crappy here..
buaixz
-dyna

3:03 PM